A Book for Parents of Special Needs Children

There was an excellent article in the NAELA News JUL/AUG/SEPT 2021 titled “Book Reviews by Karen Mariscal, Esquire, Part 1: So, What Brings You Here?” This article was a survey of books that illuminate the parenting journey of special needs children.

In the article, the author discusses parenting a special needs child. She states that it’s a difficult task that involves intensive caregiving, time-consuming appointments, wrestling with special education issues, and more. The author states that there are many books that vividly describe special needs parenting with honesty and compassion. These books do not include how to books or books describing miracle cures. Rather, they show people they are not alone.

Far from the Tree by Andrew Solomon

Mariscal recommends Far from the Tree, a book that discusses parenting children with many different types of issues. Andrew Solomon, who wrote the book, spent more than 10 years interviewing families who raised children with different needs, ranging from deafness, dwarfism, Down syndrome, autism, schizophrenia, multiple severe disabilities, to children who were prodigies, transgender, conceived in rape, or ones who became criminals.

According to the author, all these parents struggled but ultimately learned to overcome their biases and accept their child. The parents found themselves in the predicament of having to parent a child who is very different from what they expected and who experiences life, particularly childhood, very differently than they did.

Reframing the Situation

In the book, Solomon states that, done right, parenting a special needs child can foster personal growth. Solomon describes the positives of having a profoundly disabled child, stating that having a severely challenging child intensifies life. The author describes the lows as almost always being very low; and the highs being very high. It takes an act of will to grow from loss. However, the disruption provides the opportunity for growth, not the growth itself.

Constant high levels of stress may age parents of profoundly disabled children, making them crankier and more vulnerable, yet some cultivate a deep and abiding resilience. It turns out that they have grown more skilled at handling other stresses. Even as the downside wears you thin, the upside keeps on giving. The more difficult the problem, the more profound these positives may be.

Hopefully, this book recommended by the National Association of Elder Law Attorneys (NAELA) can assist parents with special needs.

If you have more questions regarding a Marital and Family Law matter, you may call Ann Marie Giordano Gilden at Ann Marie Giordano Gilden, P.A. at 407-732-7620 and set an initial consultation.

This article is for informational purposes only and does not form an attorney client privilege.

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